


5 Things Warren Hates About Michael.

by iwillshutup



Category: Common Law RPF
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-05
Updated: 2012-06-05
Packaged: 2017-11-07 00:43:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,828
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/425050
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/iwillshutup/pseuds/iwillshutup
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Or five things Warren Kole likes to pretend to hate about Michael Ealy.</p>
            </blockquote>





	5 Things Warren Hates About Michael.

**Author's Note:**

> For the common-meme prompt:
> 
> "I cannot be the only one thinking that Michael Ealy referring to Warren as 'Warren "Hollywod" Kole' during the live chat was the best thing ever?
> 
> Also, I remember reading an article where Warren said he was sick/had a fever while they were shooting. H/C anyone? yes?"
> 
> Except no h/c at all, err... I'm kind of bad at following instructions. Also, unbeta-ed. I wrote it in an hour and post it, so sorry.

**5\. He’s such a grown-up.**

It’s not that Warren isn’t an adult. He is. He’s thirty-four fucking years old. It’s just that he leaves empty beer bottles around his rented apartment, he can’t cook to save his life, he drinks a few more shots than he should every weekend and he’s still known to drunk-dial some of his exes from time to time.

And Michael just… He doesn’t. And, ok, Michael hooks up with random people. Even more than Travis does. But his apartment is always spotless, he owns a place back in New York and Warren has never seen him pass out drunk (though maybe that’s because Warren is already out by then).

So it’s Friday and they have just finished shooting an episode and Warren’s been feeling sick all week and he feels the need to get drunk so he taps on Michael’s shoulder and asks if he wants to go to a bar. What he gets as a response just confirms what Warren thinks, Michael’s too grown-up for him.

“Man, I’m beat, the only thing I feel like doing is going back to my place and spending the next thirty-six hours in my bed between meals.” Warren rolls his eyes.

“Dude, come on, just a feel beers and then I’ll pay for your ride home.” He says, hopes his eyes are doing the begging thing his mother always said they could do. Michael looks at him for a moment. Just looks. And then nods. And Warren grins. “Maybe you’re not that much of an old man as I thought.”

 

**4\. He’s a flirt.**

It’s not that Warren can’t flirt with people. He knows he can look bashful, say some corny stuff and make some girl go back to his place with him. He’s just not that good at it. Especially when he’s stone cold sober. So when he needs sex, he knows he needs a drink.

Michael, though, Michael flirts all the time. He flirts with the crew, with extras and actually had more than a few chances to take Sonya home. Unlike his character, though, Michael’s completely professional and once told Warren that it’s just not worth it hooking up with people at work.

So they’re at the bar and they’re talking, Michael’s beer is resting on top of a napkin, staining the number the bartender wrote there. And Warren’s happy with the attention. He’s happy with Michael’s hand on his arm when he talks about his time in The Good Wife. And he doesn’t even care when the waitress shows up and Michael chats her up a little.

Warren doesn’t want to leave, so he stalls. Pretends they haven’t drunk enough for the evening, orders some shots that Michael mostly refuses to drink and then Warren’s drunk and he’s telling Michael how much he feels like a teenager next to him and he sees Michael laugh and that’s it. That’s it because he’s been attracted to the guy since he watched Takers and seeing Michael laugh like that is making his stomach turn and he’s already too drunk to think about what he’s doing. So fuck pretending he’s straight. And fuck Michael's policy of not fucking work colleagues. 

When he wakes up in the morning, alone in his couch, with no memory at all of how he got there and the kind of headache that no pill can make go away, the only thing he knows is fucked is his life.

 

**3\. He can be the nicest guy around, even when he’s being kind of condescending.**

Warren’s hangover is probably the worst that he’s ever had and he blames his stupidity. He doesn’t want to get up from the couch, but he feels ill and he needs to run to his bathroom to puke his guts out. 

He hears his cell phone beeping when he’s brushing his teeth for the second time. He goes to the living room with the toothbrush still on his mouth and grabs his phone, only to see a text from Michael. I’m bringing breakfast (aka I’m coming over to make sure you’re still breathing). He runs to the bathroom to throw up a fourth time after that.

He’s back on the couch when his doorbell rings. He took a shower and brushed his teeth a thousand times and he still felt like he was dying, so he put on clean boxers, grabbed a blanket and a pillow and turned the tv on before hopping up on the couch. He yells that the door is open and doesn’t even look away from the television when he hears Michael coming in.

“I brought coffee. And pancakes from IHOP.” Michael says and Warren still doesn’t move. He’s not feeling well and he’s afraid he’ll vomit if he opens his mouth – even if just words. “Don’t you think is a little late to be lying on the couch, Hollywood?” And Warren smiles a little because that’s too Michael to keep a straight face.

“I’m dying.” He tries to say, but it ends up sounding like a groan. Michael gets closer, manhandles him until he’s sitting down and sits next to him on the couch, leaving the paper bag with food on the coffee table and handing the cup of coffee to Warren, who moans when he tastes the caramel macchiato. 

“Kid, are you ok?” Michael asks and Warren looks at him to see that he’s really worried, which worries himself because he didn’t know he looked that bad.

“Well, no, but that’s because I drank a fuck ton of alcohol last night.” He says and continues to sip his fantastic coffee. “I’m sorry about that, by the way.”

“Yeah, I don’t think it’s just the alcohol.” Michael leans in and puts his hand on Warren’s forehead. “Man, you’re burning up.” He says.

“I’m not. Stop avoiding my heartfelt apology for acting like an asshole. Well, I’m not sorry I kissed you, you’re really hot. But I am sorry for drinking like an alcoholic and making a move on you even though you told me that you don’t hook up with-” 

“Warren, shut up.” Michael orders and Warren finally looks back at him. “You’re sick, you have a fever and you’re the one avoiding the fact that you can’t handle yourself. You can’t work sixteen hours a day and then spend the weekends getting plastered and not sleeping. And you can’t survive out of junk food. You know what happens when you try? You get sick. And now I’m fucking worried and I won’t be able to leave you alone in order to let you freak out because you already proved that you can’t take care of yourself.”

They spend more than a minute staring at each other and then Warren realizes that this is probably what rock bottom feels like when you have really nice looking people in your life. Every shred of his dignity gone. 

 

**2\. He’s fantastic at kissing.**

So Michael stays over on Saturday and mother-hens Warren like crazy, going as far as driving to the supermarket to buy “real” food so he could make Warren a “real” meal. The food isn’t bad, but Warren doesn’t live off pizzas and Chinese take-outs just because he’s lazy, he actually really loves the stuff and he isn’t a big fan of salads and soups, but he doesn’t say anything to Michael.

After twenty-four hours of Michael taking care of him, he finally decides Warren is better and can survive without Michael all over him for a while. Warren is on his couch again, watching Michael get his things to leave and then the guy turns around to look at him.

“So, about that kiss…” He starts and Warren just keeps staring, hoping that it will seem like a sign for him to keep talking. “You said I was hot.” He finishes, lamely.

“You do own a mirror.” Warren says, smirking.

“So you kissed because I was the nearest hot person around?” He asks, cell phone and wallet at hand, ready to leave. Warren thinks about lying, and then decides not to. He doesn’t want to be unclear and then regret losing his chance forever.

“I kissed you because I’ve been nursing the biggest crush on you since the first fucking reading we did together. And then you kept being awesome and generally way smoother than me and it was impossible not to like you even though you think I don’t have a name and you keep calling me ‘Hollywood’ or ‘kid’ when I’m Texan and I’m only four years younger than you.”

“A crush on me, you say…?”

“Of course that is the part you would pay attention to.” Michael drops his phone and his wallet back on the coffee table and heads to the couch. He sits and pulls Warren on top of him, aligning them so they can kiss.

They make out like teenagers for hours. And then Michael gets up from the couch, both of them have already discarded their shirts, and drags Warren to de bedroom and falls on top of him in the bed.

 

**1\. Warren’s actually a bit in love with him.**

After spending a long time in bed, they take a shower together and go back to the couch in the living room. There isn’t room for two grown man to be lying down comfortably, so Warren’s half on top of Michael laughing at some Modern Family reruns.

“Why don’t you have a tv in your bedroom?” Michael asks, breaking the silence.

“I can’t sleep with the little red light that goes on when the tv’s off and I’m too lazy to plug and unplug it all the time.” Michael hums and then moans when Warren starts to suck and bite at his neck. Suddenly, Warren stops and looks up at Michael. “Hey, what about your little policy of not fucking co-workers?”

“Well, I think it was time to get over that.” He answers, making Warren grin. “Besides, you’re not a bad lay, kid.” Warren rolls his eyes at that, but keeps smiling. “But you do make me feel old with your living like a college student.”

“You know it. You have that shiny English degree to prove it. Always beating me in Words With Friends.” He complains.

“That’s because I’m smarter than you.”

“Yeah, grandpa, I know we get wiser with age.” They stop talking for a while, Warren turns to the tv, but he’s got no idea what’s going on in the show now. “So, this isn’t a one time thing, right?”

“Yeah, kid,” Warren keeps pointedly staring at the television and feels Michael running his hand through his hair. “I like you, so I think I’ll keep you.”

And that crush Warren had mentioned to Michael earlier? Well, maybe that was a bit of an understatement. But he figures the show is good, so he still has at least a couple of seasons to decide when to full disclosure his feelings.

**Author's Note:**

> I was going to write a sex scene somewhere around the fic, but I can't write smut to save my live, so this is what I ended up with.


End file.
